The other night I decided to turn in early and read my new Spaulding Gray book. I had this brillaint idea to throw a coupla logs into the fireplace.
Earlier in the week my dad dropped off a ton of wood. He had ordered "half a cord" a week ago and some burly guy showed up and dropped off half a forest on his doorstep. Hence, I now have wood for life. (Not to be confused with the award winning adult movie of the same name...)
I didn't have any tinder or those pseudo presto-ignite-in-a-jiffy logs, so I tried for thirty minutes with about a newspaper's worth of paper. In the end I had a somewhat warm log and about 1200 cubic feet of smoke in my 150 cubic foot bedroom.
It was sad.
The smoke was so bad I ended up sleeping for half the night on the couch while my room aired out. I got red runny eyes and everything. How the hell I could light fires in the rain in boyscouts and not in my own fireplace is beyond me... I had to do a bunch of laundry to get the smoke smell outta everything. I smelled like I should be on display in one of those Hickorey Farms outlets in a mall.