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I just had a really bad cup of tea. Nasty. It was some camomile blend someone was asking me to try. My normal cup is Sleepytime. Lesbian tea. Ok, before getting my ass kicked by some big burly woman with arms thicker than mine lemme explain that. Sleepytime is really made by Celestial Seasonings, which for some reason everyone in my family thinks is a group of hemp clad lesbians wearing Birkenstocks out drying tea leaves. Well, maybe they're in drying tea leaves if it's raining outside
Anyway, now I have to live with the aftertaste of this tea. I want to shave my tongue. Maybe gargle with dishwashing soap or something. I don't think brewing up a cup of Sleepytime will knock this taste out. I've munched on some little Japanese seaweed crackers & still have it. Maybe I should hunt down some good old American saltines. Actually, is the saltine American?
In old times, very old times, the Greeks soldiers used to get paid in salt. When they won a battle & really hated the newly acquired real estate, they'd pour salt on the ground so nothing would grow there. If anyone could've invented the saltine, I bet those Greeks did. I bet it was a curse too. Here's everyone doing the new "in" thing & gobbling down stacks of saltines. One of them, this guy named Plato (who also invented a colored clay for kids) goes up to the podium to speak (a ionic podium mind you, none of this plain-jane doric crap) & as he tries to enlighten the crowd with his latest speech on (insert brainy subject here) he begins to spew moist cracker nuggets all over everyone in the first few rows. Due to this unspeakable act he's rejected by his peers, who cast him out of society & he has to go live in a shack in the woods like the Unabomber. Only, they didn't really have bombs back then. Maybe flaming oil or something, I dunno, I'm not an expert on the weapons of ancient cultures. Especially those of the incendiary type.
Well, what we do know of Plato is that he was never run outta Athens, so maybe he never did spew crackers on folks. Maybe the Greeks didn't invent the saltines. Who cares? Now, who can I blame for this bad cup of tea?
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